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Blog


16
Mar 10

Waking up.

Nowadays, I sleep late and wake up late. It’s become a chore. Though not to the point of being annoying. I sit up late. Watch movies. Family Guy, Seinfeld. I sleep.

“If you’re happy in a dream, does that count?”

And, when I wake up, I feel that I’ve been through the most tiring dream ever, day after day. This part makes the ordeal, ominous. But, even then sometimes the dreams are nice. Another thing, that I even tweeted about sometime back is how sleeping with a little music on could make me dream (try it yourself too! It may work for you as well). Such music-induced dreams are mostly always nice.

Elijah Price: It has begun. Tell me something, David. When you woke up this morning… Was it still there? The sadness?

One thing you realize waking up to is the unpredictability of life.

Remembering Estha’s ‘Two Thoughts’ in the pickle factory (from The God of Small Things)

“Anything can happen to Anyone” and

“It’s best to be prepared”

Death is a scary place for me. To think that people around you will one day be not there scares me. That, you could forget that it’s in the midst of life after all, is the convenience of living and tough phase of “moving on”.

Where and why did I stop?

waking up Waking up.

To say the truth, I didn’t stop really. Life was happening as it should. Around me, and with me. I didn’t chronicle everything. But the time has come to look back and do a tad pondering over how life has been. Why everything is the way it is come to be, though not generally, but in a deeply personal way of speaking.

Of course, this wouldn’t make readable text for all. But, for some it should be. I’m more concerned about the portion of lovely people, who like to go through this grueling randomness in words.

There were no compromises along the way. I’ve done my bit of seeing it the way I want to, but I haven’t bent the truth to fit it comfortably into good-looking lines.

Where are your friends when they go away?

The loneliness of being stuck at a place all day. The past is like a photo lineup of freeze-frames. Life as it used to be. There’s no point in living in the past. But, it is great fodder to me for analysis. Social behavioral patterns from your own study case!

When you stop only you tend to look around. You may have kept running, which may be good in its regard. Then, stopping and looking around is the point of certain realizations that usually has the potential of becoming turning points in your life.

The friendship then becomes limited to short-duration calls on the phone: placed out-of-the-blue for maximum effect.


15
Mar 10

Everyday.

This is for her.

Everyday Everyday.

Everyday.

This is to break a promise that I made to myself. At the same time, breaking a self-cocooning that I underwent, in the name of ‘writing a book’. The book is still in its infancy, …at times, the process of sitting at a table and finishing it being conveniently forgotten.

For days, a new leash of emotional under-wave had passed through me, that I thought never would: I could emotionally connect to movies, which I think is a big leap for me personally.

A friend had taunted me once that for someone who dreamt of making films one day, I couldn’t connect to the characters in a movie. I was always an outsider. Mostly, I’d by plurally be removed from being at the moment of happening. I’d be watching, as I said, like an outsider looking at it from the cozy confines of not being emotionally present. The sad thing is that all these lines apply not just to movies, but life as well.

Several times, I’d decided that I would never write again. Several times I broke that decision, and succumbed to natural forces. This time, this is totally for her. To realize how much the writing is so important for her. If I’m doing this, it’s only for her.

This is going to be Everydayish, so that there’s more each day. Left upon something solid so that it stays, for long enough to be read and be re-read.

P.S.: There’re new uploads at my Flickr Photostream. Do check them out and keep the comments coming!


4
Jan 10

Break.

Excuse my absence.

I’m writing a book. So, I’m on a break from blogging.

Maybe, if anything really important turns up… I’ll be back here.